“I get depressed some times. And it will get really, really rough for a little while … I’ll get really depressed, and I’ll be like ‘Oh, man, this is not the way to be.’ And it’s so hard to break free of that sometimes, because nothing makes you feel anything – you don’t fee good, everything is bad, and it’s really hard to look at the bright side, even when you’re trying.
“When I was doing all that self-destructive behavior – partying with no regard for myself, or anybody else for that matter – it wasn’t about one specific drug. It wasn’t about speed and it wasn’t about coke and it wasn’t even all about alcohol. It was about whatever was there. So it was an escaping thing. It was what can I do to take we out of this reality?
“Why I hated my reality, I don’t know. But I wanted to get away from it. And I did, successfully, for a long time.
“And then, at a certain point … you know, I went through programs, and meetings, and like learn about the whole 12-step thing, which, really, all it did was make me get guilty feelings when I got high after that, but it didn’t make me stop anything.
“It wasn’t until I decided that I want to be a positive person. And even then it was not like I was sober all of a sudden, but it was just a choice to be a positive person. “
“The better that an individual can do for themselves and be positive, and share that positivity, the better they can build up themselves as an individual, the more they have to offer everyone else around them, and every time you are sharing positivity, you are sharing energy. And that energy has so much potential.”
“It can be destructive or it can be good, and we get to choose that, every day. In every second we are choosing if we are making good energy or bad energy.”