Monday, 02/27/2012, 12:05 pm

War Machine's First Blog From Las Vegas Jail

By War Machine:

Who would have thunk it? Well besides all of you haters that is. Fuck man! Even you fucking haters can’t hate this time!! I was behaving! No problems on probation, no going out partying, no fist fights, no nothing! I did a year straight, got released, and TKO’d Roger Huerta 3 months later! Signed a contract with @BellatorMMA to fight in their Welterweight tourney on @SpikeTV and @MTV_2. Yup, things were going great, but like all great things in my life, just had to crash and burn. For those of you who don’t know: over 3 years ago while working at a club in Vegas, I was involved in an altercation with a co-worker. This guy was 6’3″ and over 300 lbs. and he did not like me. Long story short, after a couple months of tension it came to a head, and we got in a big argument. Unfortunately, words could not solve this problem and he came at me. Luckily for me, I was quicker, and with my training as an MMA fighter, I was able to protect myself against my much larger opponent.

The “fight” wasn’t shit, one punch landed, and after a brief wrestling match, I landed on top. The problem was that the one punch caused a cut that needed stitches and during our fall his knee was injured. That being said, it shouldn’t be a problem at all, but in America, the winner of a fight goes to jail. I guess it’s like survival of the weakest nowadays, at least in this country. So for the last 3+ years, my lawyer and the D.A. have been in negotiations. D.A. didn’t want to risk trial ’cause his case was pathetic & weak, but didn’t want to dismiss charges ’cause the big guy had medical bills and I didn’t want to plea out to something because it was self-defense. So this shit went on and on and then I do a year in San Diego on a different fight. I do my time and just want to get on with my life and put all drama behind me, so I tell my lawyer, “fuck it I’ll sign their B.S. deal as long as there’s no time involved, just med. bills and probation.” Bam, I sign it and enter plea of guilty. A month later, I go before the sentencing Judge Valerie Adair, and I’m accused of taking steroids and on and on, 1 year in jail! WTF!? Yeah, my attorney conveniently forgot to mention that if the judge doesn’t like my physique, profession, and is on the RAG, she can totally disregard the plea agreement and do whatever she wants. Yup, good ole’ U-S of A. Land of the free (wait, I’m in jail), home of the brave (umm… defending yourself & winning a fight against a dude twice your size, isn’t that brave?)… Fuck it! I WILL GET BACK UP.

Sooo Vegas jail, yeah I’m in the hole again, and I guess @FloydMayweather will be my neighbor come June. Maybe he’ll give me some boxing tips? Pros and Cons: Vegas jail is much cleaner and has way better showers. Vegas has better clothes, oh, and here you get a pillow! In Vegas, we get 1 hour out of our cell every day as opposed to every other day. Oh shit, the amount of trash produced per inmate is disgusting, S.D. needs to get on it. Here, we use 3 disposable plastic spoons/day while in S.D. we had over a pound of trash/day from chow. The food, weird. EVERY dinner here is good, the worst one still better than the best of S.D. AND complete opposite for breakfast. S.D. has good breakfast, Vegas sucks. Lunch sucks @ both. S.D. wins because you get a lot of extras there, here you get none. In S.D. you get a lot of fruit too, where it’s scarce here. Now Commissary changes everything and makes S.D. 100x better than here. 1st off, they charge fucking 80 cents for a stamped envelope here!!??! Food wise, you get a way better selection in S.D. and you can order $100 of shit per week, here… $15!! WTF?! That’s INCLUDING your overpriced stamps too! Oh shit! And in S.D. you get nightly e-mails printed up; here, snail mail only! Ugh, yeah, Vegas jail sucks. Even the visits here are on a screen, you can’t even see people through a glass. A TV SCREEN… blah.

Ugh… Man, I’ll get into more emotional well being and shit in future blogs, just wanted to give you all the rundown in this one. I miss my friends, my students, training, and my szerelmem. Want to thank all you fans for sticking by me. I’ll be back in @BellatorMMA Season 7 Tournament. The government CAN’T stop me, they’re just delaying the inevitable.


You can read his sentencing transcript in its entirety HERE.

Read More: War Machine (News), Jailed Fighters, UFC


30 Responses to “War Machine's First Blog From Las Vegas Jail”

  1. Thurgood Jenkins says:

    Guy made some stupid decisions and it seems like he’s trying to get his life back together. But I read the transcript from the sentencing hearing. The same judge is going to determine when he gets released. It’s probably not very smart to accuse her of being on the RAG when he got his punishment this time around, despite the judge being extremely inarticulate, unknowledgeable, and ignorant.

    WM says self-defense but at the hearing it seemed like he cheap shotted the guy. I’m wondering what actually did happen. Anyone know where to find the incident or police report?

  2. Pijan says:

    Well, while I’ll agree most of his comments directed towards the great U.S of A were on target, guy isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. His fight with J-Roc will go down as one of the best, in my book at least. Keep on fighting man, obviously UFC doesn’t mind employing criminals, just get your head straight for a little while and you should be back in…at least as a gate keeper.

  3. MARV3L0US says:

    I liked his fight with yoshida when he got choked out cold.

  4. Yeas says:

    The judge put a fair amount of emphasis on his chosen profession. MMA fighters are rightly held to a higher standard in terms of fighting outside the sport. They are more capable and better trained, which is a fair point when considering the amount of damage they can do to someone especially if they are the aggressor.

    All that being said, after reading the transcript, I thought the judge felt that deal they lawyers had worked up was insulting based on Warmachine’s past record. Almost seems like she didn’t believe the self-defense argument at all, but rather saw a repeat offender who was using celebrity to negotiate his way down. A wrong view, in my personal opinion, but everyone knows you can’t tell a judge what to do. Furthermore, he should have be a little nicer to the judge on these online posts cause at the end of the day, it can only hurt him to lip her off.

  5. deepcountrykauai says:

    Hang in there, land of the free, yeah you cant do shit for free in the US…Im surprised you didnt get the charges dropped especially here in vegas where everything is about money, not justice….

    • Pijan says:

      Yeah, I guess you can beat a women for no apparent reason and get a delayed or dropped sentence as long as you can generate revenue, but you can’t defend yourself unless you bring in enough money. (though that may not be the truth) That’s Capitalism for ya.

  6. tim says:

    he was a boom in the fighter house so what to belive?

  7. Eric says:

    Who the hell is this guy ? Was he on the Ultimate Fighter ?

  8. Xaninho says:

    Ending up as the accused one after defending yourself is a weird and still reccuring thing in ‘justice’. I went from victim to perpetrator too once after a fight I won.

    DA kept saying I had the option to walk away, conveniently leaving out the fact the guys friends surrounded me to keep me there. Luckily I had a judge with some brains who acquitted me, could have been unlucky and had a moron for a judge.

  9. Shawn Norrthway says:

    This guy is a piece of shit human being. I wish Evan Tanner was still alive so he could beat War Machine’s ass.

  10. Pistol says:

    War Machine ha ha what a legend! His fight with J Rock was bloody and amazing. He made that season of ultimate fighter.
    PS Koscheck sucks cock! What a name!! Koscheck is a cheating cunt!

  11. Handsome Joe says:

    Who the fuck is war machine???

    • Eric says:

      Thats what I asked lawlz….. I asked if he was on the Ultimate Fighter and got the answer he was a pornstar… idk and then someone else said he was on the Ultimate Fighter and fought someone named J-Roc… who the fuck is J-Roc even… I dont remember the names of the baddies.

  12. E says:

    lol at the memoirs of war machine behind bars

    • Sweet game plan says:

      You want fans war machine ? Choke that son of b*!ch Floyd out once his sorry ass gets in..that’s a big if. I don’t think his racist ass has the balls to do time.. I can guarantee he’s doing everything in his power to get off..

  13. Matt says:

    What a piece of shit! I love how it’s was all this other guy’s fault and War Machine is the victim, but wait, he’s a done a year in SD for another fight and has enough fond memories from there, that he can compare the two jails for superiority…

    But that’s the government’s fault, right? Good one.

    Hey, B.J (or moderators, I should say),

    I have a lot of respect for you and this sport, but giving this asshole publicity, especially after all of his stunts and whatnot, is really just encouraging the degradation of MMA. Not that this guy pulled a Mike Vick or a Dante Stallworth, but to draw a parallel, you never saw any of those asshole’s blogs on Joe Montana or John Elway’s websites.

  14. Nick says:

    Man that sucks. He’s made some bad decisions, but clearly wants to better himself. That sucks man.

  15. AK says:

    That fight with J-Roc was awesome it was just as epic as Bonnar vs Griffin imo. I wonder if UFC would ever let him back..I think they would if he publicly apologized..bellator will be good for him though for awhile

  16. Jason N says:

    I hate judges. I can’t even watch any of the court shows on TV. Makes me sick. They all think the are all mighty. Two guys get in a fight, be a man and take your beating. Press charges is a weak move.

    I had a female drill Sargeant in basic training. What a bitch. Could totally tell when she was RAGGING. Don’t think females should be criminal judges. They don’t have any idea what its like to be a man and have to defend yourself. Hope he gets it together. Good luck.

  17. Rick says:

    War Machine – dont blame the gov for your actions dumbass – reread your blog and you will see what a fool you sound like – hey atleast your a good example for Your STUDENTS HAHA – WHOMEVER THEY MAY BE

  18. Spades says:

    Call a spade a spade this shit is a black eye on the sport. I bet he loves the showers there.
    He is an example of what is wrong with the sport.
    Everyone is a better person in jail. He is where he should be.

    • MMA Knowitall says:

      Amen to that, who can say if he changed for the better until he’s paid his debts, and he’s had more than a few months of staying on the straight and narrow out in our fine american playpen. His ‘changed attitude’ still has some obvious holes in it and there doesn’t seem to be much personal accountability there. I also heard he sucker punched the guy in Vegas. Also very laughable how he thinks he seems upset that he was jailed for winning a fight. Hey fuck the law, two people got a dispute just let em’ go at it, winner stays loser goes regardless of right and wrong. The guy’s a loose cannon who seems to have a little difficulty separating the really real world from his fighting career

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