MMA News

Thursday, 03/21/2013, 10:04 am

VIDEO | Sonnen To Jones: You don’t want to fight me | UFC NEWS

Chael Sonnen is a more than just a UFC Tonight analyst and fighter, he’s also a talented poet. In fact, Sonnen wrote a poem for Jon Jones that shows exactly what he’s got in store for him at UFC 159.

I got a call one day from Dana, he said ‘Chael, I’m putting you to work.’
‘You see, I overpaid for this light heavy, who I now realize is a jerk.’
‘He’s been winning fights, but not with brains or with brawn.
‘And his matches and his one-armed cartwheels are making the whole crowd yawn.
‘I mean, nobody’s coming to see him in living rooms or in bars.
‘Why don’t you send this guy to Cirque de Soleil, or Dancing with the Stars?’
He handed me his wallet, his ATM card and pin number too.
He said, ‘Chael, whatever’s in the account, take it, it’s all for you.’
I thought for a moment and I said, ‘I’ll tell you what, Uncle D.
‘For you and the fans, this one’s on me.’
So I went and did some homework, I got some tapes of his fights.
I suggest you all give them a try, if you’re having trouble sleeping at night.
They tell me he’s good, but I know that can’t be true,
I saw him get armbarred by Vitor, and he’s 52!
He’s so boring he made Machida fall asleep.
The snoozefest he had against Rashad, or beating up on Bonnar, who’s older than God?
Look, here’s the truth, believe me it is.
Don’t even mention Ryan Bader, he lost to Tito Ortizz!
Jon, I’m coming to New Jersey, because I’ve got a job to do.
I’m a fully-loaded cannon, boy, and I’m pointed right at you.
A little advice, go get in your car and hit another tree.
Do whatever you gotta do to stay away Jon, you don’t want to fight me.


50 Responses to “VIDEO | Sonnen To Jones: You don’t want to fight me | UFC NEWS”

  1. Big Daddy says:

    Uncle Chael is the man!

  2. Thom says:

    why didnt he do this on TUF? wouldve been a decent season if he did. kinda hard to take any of this clowning seriously after seeing them become BFF’s on tuf.

  3. Quazzi says:

    lol funny stuff

  4. mike eib says:


  5. Gack says:

    ROFLMAO…Gotta love that guy! How can you not!?

  6. JohnnyMMA says:

    Watching Sonnen getting KTFOd is going to be so fckn funny

  7. Gargoyle Wrestling says:

    LMAO.. Sonnen is SELLING now. He wants this to be the biggest PPV of all time!! Silva is probably thinking, crap I won’t make near the money Chael made me.

  8. Dan Jenkins says:

    I don’t know about the rest of the mma “fans” but Chael is a great talker he really does have the gift of the gab. But the reason I watch mma and not professional wrestling is because I grew out of the fake fighting when I was 16 the reason I watch mma is because it mixes most martial arts into one system and to me has become as much a sweet science as boxing and KB like a technical chess game at times and then we still get some brutal knockouts as well as technical grappling and submissions the best of both worlds when it comes to martial arts, but its real if I wanted to hear a funny poem or some good trash talk I’d watch a comedian. To me that is why Anderson Silva is the best while chael was talking trash and hyping a fight I was going to watch anyway (because any chance I get to see one of the greatest martial artists in the world I do) Anderson was training through a broken rib he told nogueira he was going to submit chael in the first fight even against nogueiras wishes, what was chael doing roiding trying to take a shortcut and when the second fight came around chael was off the roids, rib had healed and apart from a take down in the first because Anderson came out for blood swinging wildly Sonnen got his arse solidly handed to him. I think this trash talking is CORRUPTING the sport of mma it has no place mma is where real men FIGHT for real if you like trash talking go watch WWE

  9. Jason says:

    Dan chael would kick your ass.He has the heart of a lion

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