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Wednesday, 08/22/2012, 03:57 pm

The Many Faces of Nick Diaz (Language, duh!)

Nick Diaz is admittedly a guilty pleasure for me. He is one of the best fighters walking this planet in terms of skill. Nick is also one of the most fearless fighters of all time. He’s called out guys most fighters would probably avoid. Diaz is an anomaly.

Over the years Nick has said some of the most entertaining things in mixed martial arts history. There are few who can match Diaz when it comes to spouting epic quotes and instant classics. BJPenn.com has scoured the internet looking for some of them and we have found what we were looking for.

Let’s take a look at how Nick could utilize his gift of gab in real life situations. If he were to get injured or was forced to retire we have some jobs, or positions we think he would be great at.

Nick the medical doctor:

“For the record, right now, I think someone needed to come out and say it: I think smoking pot is good for mixed martial artists. It’s a new day and age, this is, uh, the year … Fuck year is it? I don’t know, because I’ve been training and smoking pot like I should, instead of paying attention to other bullshit, which I don’t do.”

Nick the politician:

“I got nothing against the guy, except that he is kind of a piece of shit”

Nick the philosopher:

“Actually, on the contrary, my fight career has gotten in the way of my marijuana smoking.”

Nick the positive thinker:

“If you’re getting paid more than me, I’m definitely more excited about this ass whoopin I’m gonna put down on you.”

Nick the peace maker:

“I didn’t mean to call Georges a motherfucker, but I ain’t got no problem getting there and fighting the best people in the world. Georges is a nice guy. I’m trying to fight Jon Fitch, I’m trying to fight Silva, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Takanori Gomi, Sakurai, I’m trying to fuck everybody up. Fuck this shit. This is fucking gangster fucking warfare. I don’t give a fuck. You know what I mean?”

Nick the psychiatrist:

“Don’t be scared homie!”

Nick the motivational speaker:

“Because you get high all the time, you can’t find people that train all the time. But if you get high and train, you will get high and train all the time together and it will be fucking massive-takeover-smoke-weed-and-kill-people shit.”

Nick the advisor:

“Every fighter I know wants to move there (Vegas) and wants to live there. You gotta be kidding me. These fucking assholes. I mean — I love it, because they’re that dumb, I’m like, “I can’t wait to fight ‘em, they’re so stupid.”

Nick the strategist:

“You know, I feel like I can go out there and live somewhere in a place like that — probably not that place, ever, I can hardly stay there for a fucking week, I hate it there, honestly — and then you know, make some money for myself, move back here, to some little spot, you know what I mean, where there’s fucking a vineyard on the side of it and I can shoot rabbits outside of my door with a shotgun and nobody’s gonna say shit to me. That would make me happy.”

Nick being himself:

“The bottom line is Georges is being a little b****. He didn’t step up and say anything when the UFC pulled me out of this fight. I understand sometimes you have to do what you’re told, but why wouldn’t you tell the media you still want to fight me? If I was Georges, I would want to fight the best. I would have asked for the Anderson Silva fight. I would have asked to fight the Strikeforce champ. But he sits there like a robot and doesn’t say anything at all, just like he’s not going to say anything about me calling him a b**** now. If I saw B.J. Penn walking down the street and called him a b****, we would be fighting right there on the spot.”

Stockton 209! Cesar Gracie Jiu Jitsu! WHAT?!

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