Part of this week’s NCAA Championship’s involved a roasting of Randy Couture.
On hand were the former UFC champion’s Team Quest brothers, Chael Sonnen and Dan Henderson.
Randy Couture, ladies and gentleman. Or for those of us who know him, refer to him as a douchebag. That’s not because he’s a jerk, it’s just because he’s been inside more stanky women than anyone else we know. Boom, roasted!
Randy, I will give you this. The one wife was hot. Well, she got hot when she left with half of your money. Boom, roasted!
Randy, your last three girlfriends have all averaged a nine. I’m not talking about their looks, I’m talking about their I.Q. Boom, roasted.
Same joke as last time, different ending. Randy, your last three girlfriends all averaged a nine. I’m not talking about their looks, I’m talking about their age. Boom, roasted.
I’m glad to see you’re smiling and, by the way, your teeth look like a row of porcelain urinals. Boom, roasted.
They call him ‘The Natural.’ Randy ‘The Natural’ Couture. Everything in his life is natural. That just defines him completely, being natural. Well, except for the fact of his girlfriend’s tits and his acting ability.
Chael, no snorting at the table [looking at Sonnen]. Jon Jones isn’t here to do that.
Look, Randy seriously is a great fighter. He’s a legend in the sport. I think he’s spent long fighting that his personal life is starting to mimic his fighting life. If you seriously think about it, his fighting life and his marriages are real similar. They get together, they roll around a little bit, he mounts them a couple times. Next thing you know, 15 minutes is up, there’s a judge involved and the whole thing is over.
Well, his fighting is a little better than his marital record. I think he’s like 0-5 now in marriage. But typically, unlike his fights his marriages have ended in him tapping out.